Some of you know, some of you don’t, that my man has been deployed since the end of last year *ya’ll pray for me we got 3 more*. While I had a couple months to prepare myself for him to leave, there really is no way to fully get ready for what’s to come.
So here are 5 things I’ve learned in the 6 months he has been gone.
First comes country, then comes family
This should come as no surprise that while your loved one is serving, you will NOT be the priority and if that bothers you, you won’t make it. You and the family are at the whim of the commanding officers, the government, and the current political leaders. Your solider has to go when asked, and you
may will get drug around with them.
It’s hard not to seclude yourself
I’ve noticed that the last six months it’s been a constant struggle to go out and do things. Not from lack of invitations, but because I’ve been secluding myself. It’s easy to sit at home and not go do things whether out of guilt or not wanting to go out alone, you have to for your sanity.
Get ready to swallow your pride
Disagreements are going to happen while your solider is gone, it’s your job to not let it turn into a fight. They are under a hell of a lot of stress, they miss their families, and being in foreign territory is not fun. If you are feeling sorry for yourself one day or feeling like they are ignoring you, do not pick a fight with your solider. If they engage you in something that would normally start and argument, let it go. Just let them win. Disengage. Nothing is worse then getting/ giving the silent treatment to someone ten time zones away and working out your issues via email/skype is just craptastic.
It’s okay to be sad/angry/upset but, never at your soldier
Look, I get it. We are human, we have needs, we feel emotions. You are completely justified to be sad, angry, and upset with the situation that is deployment, but you have no right to be mad at your loved one. I get it, they missed your birthday, anniversary, and Christmas, but they did not choose to be there. They did not choose to leave you or their family to go fight over seas. Yes, they signed up for the military, but they did that to protect you and the rest of the people they love.
It can be done
Here is the kicker: it is doable. Yes, you read that right, you can do it! Once you get the initial goodbye out of the way (alligator tears ya’ll, ALLIGATOR sized tears), life as you know it does not change all that much. You wake up in the same house, go to the same job, see the same friends you always have. It just feels like the extra set of hands, the final piece is missing, and that’s completely normal. Ask for help if you need it, don’t stress yourself out by trying to keep the show going alone. In the name of transparency I will tell you, you’re hyping it up to be way worse in your head. Once the ball is rolling it’s easy to keep moving through the day and before you know it, six months are down.
If any of you have any questions, comments, concerns feel free to leave them below in the comments. And if you are going through a similar situation and need someone to talk to, you can reach me directly by email, by clicking the CONTACT ME tab.