Dating Someone Who Doesn’t Speak Your Love Language

Expressing love is very personal and can vary from person to person, but the way you interpret love is considered your love language. There are 5 basic love languages; words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, physical touch, and acts of service. If you don’t know what your personal love language is you can take a quiz HERE and find out.

So you know your love language, but what happens when your partner can’t speak it?! What if you love words of affirmation, but your guy just can’t express to you his feeling in words. Or what if he loves when you buy him little gifts, and you loose your job? Misunderstanding your partners language can leave you two feeling, unwanted, unloved, and unappreciated. Plenty of couples have this problem and reach a point where its make it or break it time. Either you two fix something or its going to end. I personally think there is a process to this I’ve learned from personal experience.

Discuss the problem.
You need to sit down and express why that is your love language, or talk about why you can’t speak your partners. Many people have been burned by past lovers and have turned out being a little jaded without even realizing it. take turns talking, and don’t expect your way is the right way. Feel free to ask questions without interrupting, addressing both parties concerns.

Finding solutions.
Whether it is lowering expectations, taking a date night, making a point to express nice things to one another, whatever it is find the solution that works best for both parties. That might mean both of y’all have to compromise a little bit, but hey love is give and take. Work towards learning the language your partner speaks.

All it takes is communication and two people who are willing to try. Any amount of boundaries can be overcome with a little work.

12 thoughts on “Dating Someone Who Doesn’t Speak Your Love Language

  1. JJS says:

    This is good advice. We tend to assume our partner speaks the same love language we do, until we learn about them and talk about them. Understanding this has impacts on everything from how we express disagreement to how we define loyalty. Good post!


  2. Jeffrey H. King says:

    Very true. True love will make those adjustments. And no matter who you date, adjustments will always be necessary. Learning your love’s language is likely a better plan than dumping him/her and looking for someone who already speaks your language. They just might have bigger issues that you don’t want any part of!


  3. aspiredschools says:

    I read about the five love languages a long time ago. It was cool to see it here again & summed up beautifully. Thanks. Timely piece for me


  4. janrssor says:

    One of my favorite books is “The Five Love Languages?” Add communication amd overcoming your childhood traumas and you have a recipe for a successful marriage. Wish it was as easy to do as to say. …..Janr


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