Girlfriend To Wife

Dating as a whole in today’s society seems to be a huge joke. People are so willing to screw over and screw anything and anyone who gives them attention. Not to mention the constant attention people thrive on from social media. No wonder the divorce rate is so high, because people get in relationships with unrealistic expectations and with a selfish mentality. No one respects the term TAKEN anymore and instead see it as a challenge to change that.

So I’ve compiled a list of things I strive to do as a girlfriend, that will one day (hopefully) carry over into my marriage, that way my future husband doesn’t expect something that just isn’t gonna happen.

Praying For Him.
It may sound silly to say I pray for my husband, since I don’t have one, but God knows who I’m going to marry. Why not pray for him before we meet? Pray he strives to be a good person. Pray for God’s guidance and wisdom for him. Pray he is preparing himself to be the husband and man you deserve. I also pray that God reveals His plan to us when the time is perfect.  I personally pray for my future husbands motivation, passion, and most importantly that he seeks God feverishly.

Learning To Cook and Clean
I don’t care how medieval and old school it sounds to say a woman should cook and clean, but its true. Bread winners is what we are. I try to get in the habit of already having meals prepared, groceries bought, and pantry stocked. As for cleaning, I’ve learned doing a little each day is better then having to bulldoze your house and start over because its so nasty. No man wants an empty belly and dirty house. Yes, he can still take out the garbage.

Allowing Myself To Be Lead
I don’t mean, being lead on. I mean, practice letting the man lead me closer to God. God designed men to put on the full armor of Christ and to lead you throughout life. Trying to be in charge of the relationship may work temporarily, but ultimately it will lead to your man feeling demasculated. Trust your mans choices and decisions, but have a discussion about them first.

Learning A Routine
Many women who get married have never had an actual routine. Get up,go to work, come home, cook dinner and so on. If you don’t even have a basic routine down, that leads to you getting overwhelmed and burnt out easier. No to mention paying bills, and attempting to squeeze in time for friends and other activities. Gym who?

Being Happy On My Own
I’ve had a battle with this the last few years of my life, but you need to learn how to be happy on your own. If your happiness is dependent on your boyfriend and eventually husband, it could cause trouble. Don’t get me wrong, my boyfriend makes me unbelievably happy, but I also have learned to be happy when we aren’t together. If you are miserable when you two aren’t together, you seem needy and clingy. No to mention if you guys ever got in a fight you would feel like the world is crumbling. Also giving any one person that much power of you, can lead to you being abused and manipulated.

Learning to be Selfless
For me this isn’t so much as a challenge as it is a goal. I have no problem being giving and sacrificing. I’ve been trying to have a good attitude about it. I tend to worry about the aftermath of giving, as opposed to being happy I’m in the position to give and help someone else . Being in a position where I am able to help, is a blessing in itself.

61 thoughts on “Girlfriend To Wife

  1. Cristiano Sequeira says:

    Beautiful. Yes, it is this chaotic state of relationships in society that led me to write my book (no indirect advertisement intended here). I believe that it is important to ask yourself a few questions before you even begin a relationship, the most important one being: Do you want to date (i.e. have fun and break up when I want to move on) or do you want to court (i.e. start a relationship with the intention of figuring out if this person is compatible with you for a long-term commitment, in which case, further questions are to be asked)? This attitude would save a lot of people a lot of head and heartache. Being selective is not being picky. It’s respecting others (and oneself). My favourite author, Ellen White, states that ‘trifling with hearts is a crime of no small magnitude.’ No one enjoys being played around with, so why play around with others?

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Chris Marquez says:

    Wow, reading posts like this are so refreshing and really put things in perspective.

    As a (struggling) recovering drug addict, its so easy for me to slip in to this mindset of loneliness and codependancy but then I look back on the handful of relationships I have been fortunate enough to have which I royally screwed up with my own jealousies, insecurities and selfish/self-seeking behavior!

    And boy, when I get that little bit of clarity it sure is a huge eye opener!

    I need to stay humble and prayerful and learn very carefully (and diligently) from past mistakes as well as stay prayerful for the future and realize that in times of loneliness or when faced with rejection that I need to ask that God continue to break me down only to build me back up and train and sculpt me carefully into the man that my future wife deserves. Instead of asking Him to give me someone to love I need Him to help me understand what it is to love another, moreover (and most important) what it even means to really love Him.

    I need to be thankful that the few women I entangled myself with were strong enough and empowered enough and wise enough to know how to set and maintain healthy boundaries; to know when to say enough is enough and send me on my way so that I can go and eventually grow up instead of keeping me around just because they pitied me or thought they could change or fix me. I should count it as a blessing that I have not done more damage than what has already been wrought.

    Anyway thank you so much for this post and for taking the time to read and appreciate my first post on my own blog (otherwise I might not have found this post!). I look forward to reading more.

    Have a blessed day!!

    Liked by 2 people

      • Chris Marquez says:

        He really does. It’s still mind blowing to me that God always manages to find me, no matter how far I stray. I don’t want to test Him by any means but it’s just like with the Israelites it’s like they go seeking after other gods and idols and lusts EVEN AFTER God does insanely incredible things for them or how fast after God does something miraculous they were prone to doubting whether He could move and act again in their lives, you know? But His love really does never fail or give up, even when we fail and seemingly give up on Him. He is the Good Shepherd and His sheep know His voice.

        Liked by 3 people

      • 3375F says:

        Yes exactly! It’s so amazing what He can do, even in the smallest parts of our lives. Ive learned that there is no hiding your feelings from God, so you can come to Him with ANYTHING and anytime and He may not fix the situation right then and there, but we always have the promise that in the end He will be faithful.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Chris Marquez says:

        I think the hardest lesson for me to have to learn is exactly what you touched on. God doesn’t work on our time table. Even that famous Jeremiah scripture about how He has plans to prosper us, not to harm us and plans for a hope and a future; what we all too often forget is that right before that hallmark verse He tells the Israelites that after 70 years He will bring them out of captivity! Paul talks about rejoicing in ALL THINGS, especially in trials and tribulations, and so just because God may not move exactly when we want Him too we can rejoice and trust that He is faithful and just and WILL move in His time. All we need to do is learn to rest and to trust in Him and sometimes that can be the hardest part but once we can do that it is the most rewarding!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Brandon Adams says:

    These are absolutely terrific things.

    * I’m honored on behalf of all men that you are looking to cook and clean. Not because I’m old-fashioned or lazy or chauvinistic or anything, but simply because it shows you have a servant heart. So refreshing. I personally would CALL ON ALL MEN to learn to do the same things; if a husband and wife are tripping over each other in an effort to serve, how could such a home go wrong?

    * I can tell my future wife (and probably her family) is praying for me. It’s the only way to account for the wisdom and favor God has been giving me, at times jammed down my throat under protest but given nonetheless. So prayer does matter. Your future husband will one day look at you praying and go “Oh. That explains some things.”

    * “If you are miserable when you two aren’t together, you seem needy and clingy. No to mention if you guys ever got in a fight you would feel like the world is crumbling.” Oh. My. Gosh. We could fill stadiums with the number of teenagers and college students who need to hear this. Get out of your bubble! Love your friends! Live your life! GET a life! (Did that sound harsh?) Such good advice. We need God far more than we need a human, and we need God in order to truly love a human.

    Thanks so much for this.

    Liked by 4 people

    • 3375F says:

      Thank you so much! I don’t understand why women get offended when they are expected to do something like cooking or cleaning. I think having a servants heart can get you so far in life and shows you are not too proud to submit to one another.

      Like

  4. Jeffrey H. King says:

    Ephesians 5:21-33 is all bout what you are essentially saying here. I found reading this to be a breath of fresh air. You are a rare young woman who has the faith to pray for the husband she hasn’t yet met!

    When you think about it men and women both lead each other, but in different ways. If the man truly loves his wife, he will follow where her needs take him. If she loves him, she will follow him when he shows the way…whether it’s to satisfy her needs or in other matters.

    An image to share with you on marriage; Some people think it’s two pillars, leaning together and supporting each other. The better image is two pillars upright, side by side, each able to stand on its own, but CHOOSING to be next to the other pillar.

    My wife and I both cook. We used to entertain a lot. I always found great satisfaction in my guests enjoying the food I had personally prepared.

    Thank you for this. It made me smile!

    Liked by 3 people

    • 3375F says:

      Thank you so much for your kind words! I was raised to really believe in the sanctity of marriage and praying for a husband I haven’t met yet and for a family I haven’t created yet.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. happysoul5 says:

    Your points are spot on!!
    It would be such a peaceful and happy life to instill such lovely simple practices in our daily life. And oh yes, relationships nowadays have evolved to such an extent that everybody craves for the old generation love because it was more selfless back then . Praying to God daily for your partner is such a pure act, and praying to him to change us rather than expecting a perfect relationship; for God alone knows our deepest desires. Loved your post! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  6. RhapsodyBoheme says:

    So beautiful and you are simply amazing and so inspiring to me as well as many others I’m sure. I love that you know what you want and that you stand by your principles and guidelines without wavering from them regardless of acceptance of others or approval. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  7. deborahanndykeman says:

    Great post with terrific advice! The items you mentioned to do before your are married are what most young women were taught at home, once upon a time. They were prepared, just as a man was prepared to be a husband and care for a family. I really think there is a lot of frustration and seeking in the younger generation today because they just don’t know what to do! I pray you are able to reach many with this advice. And…thanks so much for stopping by my place. Hope to see you again!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. middleagednumbskull says:

    You have a good start with this. I get the idea that you have enough understanding of how much you will need to put yourself aside, not in a bad way, in order to meet your husband’s needs. Honor him, support him above anyone else and that includes your children when they come into your lives, perhaps the crucible of most marriages.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Bonsai says:

    Learning to be led and learning to lead; both are important. Sometimes my husband needs me to lift him up . . .in times of frustration and impatience he wants me to crack a joke with impeccable timing so he can laugh at himself.

    Like

  10. yaamatullah says:

    After my divorce, my dad said he was worried about me because I wasn’t dating anyone and how was I ever going to settle down and have kids if I didn’t hook up with a guy and shack up.

    The entire conversation made my skin crawl. I couldn’t even understand how that could be normal. Ugh.

    Like

  11. Vikas Singh says:

    I don’t have the courage to read this. I just scrolled down so that I could like this post but didn’t actually find the option so just commenting.
    But what you mentioned in one of your blogs that we should believe on his timing and thus I will wait and some day I will read this blog of yours.
    seems crazy to you I think. but the fact is that what ever is written in this, I like it without reading.

    Like

  12. Vikas Singh says:

    haaa haa silly of me. I keep reading and liking to the posts from my readers section all day and keep liking but kind of lost somewhere in my thoughts I wrote that that I didn’t find the option to like the blog but there it was. haaa haaa

    Like

  13. ehwojo says:

    Well thought out. With my children…aged 15, 13, 9, 4 and 1…my wife and I very much started working with them to value courtship rather than dating. Courtship should be looked at, as you are desiring, a relationship in which you evaluate the virtues and vices of a person to see if you are compatible for marriage. I pray you find a man who will enjoy your gift of self and be serious towards you and God as well.

    Like

  14. The Praying Girlfriend says:

    Hey 3375F, i love this piece, it would really be nice if you made a blog post on our website it would really help some of our readers, and wondering if you would also like one of our posts to be featured on your page..

    xxxx

    TPG

    Like

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