How Kids From Long Term Marriages Love Differently

Having parents that are still together is a very under rated blessing. My parents have been married 39 years this past April. HOLY CRAP that’s a long time. In a world where divorce is the new norm, having parents who are still happily married has taught me some things that people who come from divorce could never experience, and vice versa.

Here is what I have learned coming from parents who are still together.

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FRIENDS FIRST: LOVERS SECOND

My parents have taught me that your partner should be your best friend. A relationship built off of friendship as opposed to other things, will give you a much better base to grow from there. Your best friend does not judge, loves unconditionally , and has unwavering faith in you, why would you not want that person to also be the person you spend the rest of your life with.

HONESTY Without Grace Is Just Brutality. 

Being honest is always the best option, no matter what, but there is a point where you need to draw the line. You can get your point across without being cruel or mean to your partner.Being honest and up front sooner rather then later, also lessens the chance you have animosity pent up, so you being cruel is less likely.

NEVER TALK BAD ABOUT YOUR PARTNER TO OTHERS

You should never go tell others the bad things your husband or wife did. Firstly because it is no ones business. Secondly you do not need to plant negative thoughts about your partner in others brains. It is easy to just go run your mouth to your friends about how your husband forgot to take the trash out. It may seem harmless and silly, but it might give off the impression, he is lazy or unreliable. You have no idea how people interpret things. If you need to vent, vent to God.

MARRIAGE SHOULD NOT BE BASED SOLELY OFF LOVE

This sounds so silly, but think about it. Love is not the only thing that makes marriages work. I feel people get married because they are so in love, and then the minute the honeymoon phase is over, they go running for the hills when things get tough. There are going to be days when you do not like your partner or you will not get along. This is where friendship, communication, compassion, patience, loyalty, and integrity come in. If you just have love, the second it’s temporarily gone, you are likely to be unfaithful in search of finding it somewhere else.

ONCE MARRIED, FIGHT LIKE HELL TO STAY MARRIED

I have seen my parents go through some really tough stuff, even if I had no idea what was going on at the time. Every time, no matter how much bad was out there, they fought day in and day out to stay together. Relationships now a days do not do that. The second it isn’t easy, people run. That is not how marriage works. You have to be willing to battle the world and each others demons to make it work, but it can work if you two both want it too.

AT THE END OF THE DAY: MARRIAGE IS WORTH IT

My parents are real examples of how worth it, it really is. It was not easy and sometimes it was not fun, but they have three awesome kids ( patting myself on the back), great friends and are both getting ready to retire ( FINALLY). Talk about a fruitful marriage.

I am so incredibly blessed they have laid a foundation for what marriage looks like, in my head. I feel so lucky that I’ve been shown how much of a  important responsibility being have of a married couple, is.

THE GOAL IS NEVER A PERFECT MARRIAGE, BUT ONE WHERE BOTH PEOPLE WAKE UP EVERYDAY AND CHOOSE TO FIGHT LIKE HELL TO STAY TOGETHER.

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