I Can Read Your Mind: How Being Observant Helps Me Know You

Being the youngest child means I was constantly watching my siblings do things. I was constantly taking mental notes on what to do, how to act, facial expressions, and peoples voice tones. All these things have been amplified over the years to the point where I can usually feel what peopel feel or know what someone is thinking.

I noticed this skill when I got deep into my psychology degree when I really learned why people react the way they do, and how important non-verbal communication is. Mix that with my apartment zodiac powers of being a cancer and apparently feeling everything. I also learned how to be present, in more then just the moment. Be present in your surroundings, your feelings, the vibes that people send out into the universe. All things can be seen, heard, and felt if we take the time to acknowledge their existence.

So how does such a skill help?! I think it makes me a better communicator with other people. I can usually tell what sort of mood they are in based upon the non-verbal cues they are sending. Cues that some people over look because they are too consumed with something else. You never realize how taking 3 seconds to pay attention to someone can tell you a lot about them. Take a look at someone, what is their face telling you? Is there appearance telling you something that goes against what they are telling you? Are they normally put together and today they aren’t? Something could have happened this morning you don’t know about. Also look at peoples body language. Are the tense around certain people and have nervous gestures they do in certain situations?!

Oh, I’m Fine.

Next listen to them, not just the words but the tones. People wjll say they are okay whenbthey arentGranted if they usually are sweet and have a mouth like a sailor all of a sudden, there might be something going on. Listen to see if they are sighing or they are talking fast. Notice if their voice sounds different when they talk to certain people, might indicate some bad blood or resentment. Sarcasam and being snippy with someone says a lot about their relationship. Little cues can indicate a problem in someone’s life. Just open your ears and you can hear it.

I think if you take a few seconds to observe people it gives you avenues of communication because you know which direction to approach them from. People are so wrapped up in their own business that they ignore signs other people are sending into the universe. You always hear ” If only they would have asked for help or told us something was wrong” after someone commits or attempts suicide. Maybe no one was picking up on the signals they were sending out. Maybe we are all just too wrapped up in our own worlds to notice the struggles of other people.

My Observant skills have gotten so honed in that I can usually tell what people are thinking after being with them for a few seconds. You can get like that too, especially with people you’re around a lot. Being aware of people not only shows you care, it can help you build really strong connections.

Next time you’re people watching on the bus, take a second to look around. What do you see?

–XOXO Kiley