As my baptism grows closer so does me level of nervousness. I am truely honored and excited to get to do this at what I think is the best church on earth, but the whole video playing for everyone to see terrifies me.
The writing of my testimony was one of the most challenging endeavours I’ve ever done. How does one explain the magnitude of Christ influence on my life in 300 words?!? I had such a hard time because I have so much I wanna say, and clearly I can’t say it all. I didn’t wanna regret not saying something that helped guide me to accepting Christ.
I had a lovely phone conversation on Sunday with the lady who will be filming my testimony next Sunday. She assured me that I get as many takes as I want, and its a lot easier to do then it seems on paper. She also helped me iron out what I wanted to say. She emphasised how I have to be clear so people who don’t necessarily have a relationship with Jesus, will still understand what I’m saying. We got all 300 words down and typed out, and I still feel like it wasn’t enough. How do I explain how I turned my back on God, and how He was still with me?! How do I explain how I go from carrying the weight of my shame and guilt, to it being lifted off my shoulders completely?!
Like I said, 300 words isn’t much.
She emailed me this week and said she was praying for me and how I am probably full of mixed emotions. Which I am.
She assured me that God will give me the words to say, and that He is allowing certain people to watch my testimony for a reason, and my words will impact them the way He wants it too. She also talked about how Satan is probably trying to play tricks in my head, to prevent me from wanting people to see my testimony. I can already attest to this happening and its not even close to recording time. I have feelings of nerves, anxiety, and embarrassment
I’m scared of what people will think of my story. I don’t wanna be judged. I don’t want people to not understand my journey or to get confused.
All these things have been bouncing around my head making me wonder if I am worthy of taking such a public step of faith, and I am worthy. God will see me through this. Will I cry, probably! But when you think about the overwhelming love God has for you, its hard not to get emotional,ya know?!
All in all I am extremely nervous, and feeling shy about being in front of the camera. But I know my God will see me through and make sure I have the words to say when it’s time.
Just a reminder. My baptism is Sunday November ,22 2015 at 9am at North point community church, in the east auditorium. If you would like to come, let me know so I can reserve you a seat. You can also watch online live on the NPCC website. If you can’t watch live I am sure I’ll get a copy of my video and I will post it for everyone to see because I am so happy that Jesus is my lord and Savior!